Larry Laffer
The following article uses parts of The Official Book of Leisure Suit Larry by Ralph Roberts and Al Loweand the The Authorized Uncensored Leisure Suit Larry Bedside Companion by Peter Spear. Larry Laffer is the main character of the Leisure Suit Larry series. He was based on the 'puppet' from Softporn Adventure. Biography *Name: Larry Laffer *Gender: Male *Birthday July 24 *Age: Fortysomething *Place of Birth: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and/or Gumbo, Missouri (Was he born on a plane between both locations?) *Home: Bass Lake, California *Height: 5' 10 *Weight: Fluctuates *Bust: 44 *Waist: Fluctuates *Hips: Fluctuates *Color of Eyes: Sexy (blue) *Marital Status: Divorced-still swinging Early life "There’s a sucker born every minute," P.T. Barnum said in the last century. "Larry took three times longer than any normal kid to be born, the dirty little sucker!" his mother had often said to her sympathetic friends in this century. Born near a log cabin in Gumbo, Missouri (though some claim it was Philadelphia, Pennsylvania), Larry's father at some time left them, and his mother sacrificed herself to raise and nurture him. Larry had also one brother. As he explained to Patti when they first kissed, he played trumpet in a mariachi band when young. His misspent youth had fond memories of playing Frogger on an Atari 400 when his classmates were dating. He cut his first computer teeth on an old integer BASIC Apple II (It wasn't even a Plus!). However during high school he dated a redhead; one afternoon when her parents were out of town she wanted him to come over to her house. During a near-death experience, Larry wondered if there could have been some reason for this. He attended a local college, majoring in computer science, and lived at home, commuting to and from class. "Coed" was a strange word to him. His mother always fixed him 2 sandwiches with an apple or banana (never both), and a small cup of pudding (chocolate or vanilla). Nothing more than a mild-mannered nerd confirmed bachelor and, basically, terrified of women; he has been living with his mother until he went 38. His reading material (other than the magazines he kept hidden under the mattress) are books like Probing Your Parallel Port, Compute!’s Using Turbo Basic (his favorite), and The Unix Desktop Guide to Emacs. Others included The Klutz's Guide to Committing Suicide by Ima Goner, The Illustrated Guide to Polyester Fabrics from the Editors of Gentlenerds Quarterly and How to Say No When You Really Mean Yes... Well, Maybe by N.D. Sysiv. On Friday and Saturday nights, he used to play with his PC, and listen to his extensive collection of Barry Manilow, Air Supply, and Boxcar Willie records. He stopped occasionally by the record store to see if there was a new Manilow album or 8-track tape out; most of the Manilow stuff he really liked was still just on 8-track, although some of them were quadraphonic! He also loved Slim Whitman and Elvis. At 5'10'' (average height), with receding hairline and his head poking up through his hair, his stomach won the race by pulling ahead of his chest.'' Career Larry was a traveling software salesman. He worked for a small high-tech start-up company that was developing a line of artificially intelligent machine controls. Larry’s boss liked Larry a lot because he could brag to him for hours. His brother, as he told Larry time after time, was in the computer game biz and was pulling down big bucks. His supervisors wished they could have given Larry some artificial intelligence. Everyone agreed that Larry was conscientious (a "plodder" was how it was most often put), and would keep plugging away until he succeeded with an assigned task. Whether devising database structures or making points in adventure games, this seems to be an admirable trait. He typically wore cardigan sweaters to work; he has a different pocket protector for each day of the week where he carefully puts three felt tip pens (red, green, and black) in his pocket protector, along with a ball point pen (blue), a mechanical pencil (messy black lead), and one of those little metal rulers with inches on one side and centimeters on the other. He would pick up the brown paper bag with his lunch, walk out to his little rusty-red 1970 Volkswagen "Beetle," and putt-putt his way to work. Every morning was exactly the same series of actions. He never varied his route to work, and he always stopped at the "Stop" sign where Elm Street intersected Oak, even though you could see for six miles in either direction and there was never any traffic. Larry would arrive at work every morning at exactly the same time (never early, never late), walking through the door to the programmers’ office at precisely 8 a.m., and stroll back cattywompus to his very own cubicle. He would put his brown paper lunch bag into his bottom right drawer, turn on his computer, and go right to work. He’d punch away at the keys until 10 a.m., at which time he’d take his apple/banana from his lunch bag and go on coffee break for exactly fifteen minutes, eat the apple or banana, and drink the one free cup of coffee the company allowed employees. Lunch was always 30 minutes long in the same employee lounge buying the same brand of soft drink (TAB) from the same machine against the wall of the lounge and munching both sandwiches and eat his cup of vanilla or chocolate pudding. Watching his fellow workers only made him feel worse, talking with tales of married bliss or conquests in singles’ bars. Around his 38th birthday, his brain hit a sexual alarm and started having his first kinky thoughts. Larry hid sleazy magazines in his room and read late at night, like covers by National Geographic with topless natives. His erotic daydreams were PG and himself was a character gig or even just a walk-on or no-lines extra in them. Then the ratings on his dreams dropped from to PG-13, and plummeted through NC-17 to around the X mark. Daydreaming had its consequences. His performance at work dropped off. Bugs began to creep into his programs and his desk drawer, after he forgot to eat lunch and left his chicken salad and mayonnaise in there all night. He ran the stop sign at Elm and Oak (when for once there was traffic) and a cop who wrote him a ticket for unsafe movement. Larry found himself watching the girls at work and going down to the mall on Saturday afternoons. And his life just kept on getting more miserable. Moping around or lying in his room with the door closed and the stereo blaring seventies music. He would sob into his pillow at night and pound it with his fist in quiet desperation. Larry’s mom was the only one to notice the change in him finding National Geographic magazines under his bed. He was so dispirited that he didn’t even order the six-record set of Wayne Newton’s greatest hits offered on cable TV nor check about new Manilow songs. His performance had dropped off so dramatically that the company could no longer justify his employment. The same day he had been fired from his job, he found the house sold and a note from his mom, which wished him luck and explained that she had bought herself a singles condo down in South Florida. The female real estate agent as she stood leaning against her snazzy red sports car, shooed him away. Larry, under the watchful eye of the real estate lady, gathered his few meager possessions and packed them (a few computer books and some sleazy magazines left and, of course, his Barry Manilow collection) in the Volkswagen. He drove away toward the center of the city. Revolution It was time for that new beginning and decided to leave for Lost Wages. He parked in front of the Uptown-Downtown Pawn Shop, Delicatessen, and Night Fever Polyester Plaza. He paid with his worldly possessions on the counter for a white polyester leisure suit he’d had hanging there since 1973. The surprised shop owner, feeling just the least bit guilty, tossed in a pile of genuine cheap imitation gold lacquered chains and a gift certificate for the Disco On Fire Health Club and Dance Spa (which he’d gotten free anyway), and a ratty, much—worn pair of "steppin’ out" elevator shoes. Larry changed in the restroom and walked out as a swinging single kind of guy. Another 15 minutes at the health club just down the street, a visit to the barber for a "Saturday Night Fever" bouffant haircut ("guaranteed to get the chicks—by the truckloads") and the new Larry was born. As he posed and swing Travolta-style with his suit, a young lady jogged by then, studiously ignoring Larry after one startled and incredulous glance at him. Larry knew a lot of people had come into Lost Wages in $10,000 cars and had left in $100,000 buses or on $2,000,000 trains. Larry however was there for the chicks and drove to Nevada. He spent his last ten bucks on gas and a can of breath spray and his credit card had just expired. A hundred miles later he passed the sign welcoming him to the city. The first thing to do was to generate a few thousands. Falling in for an advertisement touting the "excellent", "cheap" and "luxurious" taxi service, he decided he would not need his car any more. A seedy, unprosperous-looking used car lot with the rusty little house trailer that served as an office, called A-1 Honest Used Cars caught his eye. Honest Tricky Dick bought his beetle for 94 dollars without budging to Larry's haggling. Tricky Dick drove him downtown. Larry told him that he is after babes and Tricky Dick drove him to Lefty's. As Honest Tricky Dick drove away, Larry took inventory of what he had on him. A worn wallet with $94 in it, an as-yet unused can of breath spray, some pocket lint, and a wrist watch. That was it. Except for his fantastic leisure suit—a major chick-getting necessity! During the course of the series of games, Larry loses his virginity, is married twice (and dumped twice), becomes a hero of the tropical Nontoonyt island, and eventually meets his semi-other half, Passionate Patti (who, for some parts of the games, is controlled by the player). Working for Sierra The last thing he remembered was writing his life story as a computer game, sitting on a deck with a half-naked woman, overlooking a beautiful lake nestled high in the Sierra Nevada. Neither being that successful with girls, he always had trouble with his jobs. Ken and Roberta sent to the Last Chance Seminary to improve his productivity, or be fired. New Careers While working for PornProdCorp and flying back to Los Angeles with AeroDork Airlines, the pilot's contract ran out and (being a good union man) refused to work without a contract. The plane was helpless and Larry, having used to sell flight simulator software door-to-door, offered to help. Despite this (and killing hours playing "Red Baron" instead of working) could not help him handling a modern passenger jet. However he managed to save the plane, including Danforth Quayle's mother who was also a passenger. He was greeted as a hero and the Mr. President himself invited him to the White House Tuesday next week for a typical Big National Hero Of The Week Dinner. In his most recent games, Patti is absent and Larry roams alone again. Many fans wondered what happened to Patti in Larry 6, if they separated, and why. The Official Book Of Leisure Suit Larry, which was written between Larry 6 and Larry 7, hints that Larry was still engaged with Patti during that period, but her fate is unknown. After Years Little is known what happened to Larry thedecade following LSL7. His casino had expanded, and saw some success in 1998, but folded not long after. By 2004, he had moved to Walnut Log where he gave advice to his young nephew and protege Larry Lovage. He could be found at the local pub Lefty's Too pining away about his escapades and conquests during the 80's and 90's, his successes and losses. He periodically contacted his nephew, and his nephew would contact him by phone. His hair by this time had started to gray on the edges. He is still pining for his lost Passionate Patty. By 2009, he had become a fairly successful owner of his own porn studio. But the years had not been good to him, much of his hair had fallen out by then, and he had gained much weight.. Name While making In the Land of the Lounge Lizards, Sierra On-line staff had to decide the character's name. They agreed that he should be named after a friend of Al Lowe's named Jerry (Lowe never made his last name known to the public), who had visited him at work and became well known in the Sierra studios. Jerry thought of himself as a great lover. He became an infamous point of comical reference among the staff, so the game creators agreed that since Jerry's character suited the game's 'hero', they should jokingly tribute him. However, since they thought it would be immoral to use a real person's full name as a comical reference, "Jerry" was then altered to "Larry", a similar name, in honor of famed injury attorney Larry H. Parker, a childhood friend of Al Lowe. Al Lowe had to find a new surname, and having in mind the many L-words of the title, skimmed through the 'L' volume of an encyclopedia in order to find a suitable word or name. He fell on the entry of Arthur Laffer, and the name caught his attention because it reminded him of 'laugher'. Arthur Laffer for years had no idea about the existence of the games until much later when Al Lowe sent a letter asking his permission for the publication of a program under the title Laffer Utilities, a Larry spin-off which could potentially confuse the public due to the ambiguous title. Laffer asked his secretary if she knew about the games and she told him that she had played them for years, but never made a connection. Laffer gave the permission and also paid a visit to the Sierra studios. Hobbies *Women *Grass skirts and lei weaving *Disco dancing until dawn *Girls *Women *Microwave cuisine *Occasional cross-dressing *James Bond novels *The collecting of traditional :American disco-influenced :music-especially the works :of Manilow, Diamond, Summer, :and the brothers Gibb. *Girls and women Nicknames & Titles *Uncle Larry Relatives *Larry Lovage *Dita & Betty (Cousins) Significant Accomplishments and Honors Professional History Reception and evolution ]] Although Larry Laffer is accused by many as a symbol of male chauvinism, Lowe explains that Larry is intended as a satire of that type of man, rather than an endorsement of it. Originally Larry was a typical 16-coloured sprite, although on box covers he was seen as a cartoon with huge triangular head and nose. As technology advanced to allow more cartoon-like graphics, the VGA games updated the sprite to resemble the depiction of Larry on the covers. In the latter games with full voiceover soundtrack, Larry is voiced by actor Jan Rabson in all games except Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust. External links *Larry Laffer at Police Quest Wiki *Larry Laffer at Space Quest Wiki References * The Official Book of Leisure Suit Larry (1994), written by Al Lowe and Ralph Roberts (ISBN 087455215X, ISBN 978-0874552157). Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 5. * * * * * Category:Males Category:Characters (LSL1EGA) Category:Characters (LSL1VGA) Category:Characters (LSL2) Category:Characters (LSL3) Category:Characters (LSL5) Category:Characters (LSL6) Category:Characters (LSL7) Category:Characters (LSL8) Category:Characters (LSL9)